THE MARK OF FATHERHOOD

Exactly today eight years ago my father Mr. Bolarinwa Olasode went to be with the Lord. I must confess the last eight years has been a bitter/sweet ride for me. On one hand I seriously miss his physical presence and that confident smile that takes away you fears. I wish he were here to celebrate my successes with me and encourage me in times of setback. On the other hand sometimes it feels like he never left this word. This is because since his death, there has not been a week past that I did not have a reason to remember his words or borrow a leaf from his actions. Many times I have been saved from heart ache and trouble simply by considering his words and actions before taking decisions. Thinking about it, I believe he deliberately lived a life that would speak to me throughout my journey through life especially when he was no longer there to speak to me. Of course he had his own short comings; I believe he did a good job as a father. In honour of this great man whose contribution to my life is immeasurable, I want to share with you a few things from his life that still speaks to me. MY FATHER WAS A HIGHLY DETERMINED MAN Born to an artisan father and a non working mother who were both illiterates, he was raised under conditions that could excuse his failure. However he was determined not to fail in life. Even his father’s death when he was 15years old did not deter him. With great determination, he went through many days that he was not sure he would get food to eat, many sleepless nights, a season of lack and many uncomfortable situations. At the end of his life he had bagged several degrees, worked as a banker and lived abroad. He was also married with kids who he did his best to give greater opportunities than he had at the beginning of his life. He used to say ‘ONLY WHAT YOU PERMIT HAS THE POWER TO HOLD YOU DOWN’ MY FATHER WAS A MAN OF DISCIPLINE AND INTEGRITY My father was a man not given to frivolities at all. When he decided to put a stop to any endeavour, no Jupiter can make him change his mind. He used to say that the measure of a man is how he took his word. So if he wasn’t going to do it, he would never say it. I can boldly say that throughout his life there was no other woman and there was no vice that threatened the sanctity and stability of our home. We could expect that our needs would be met according to his capacity and we were seldom disappointed. MY FATHER LIVED A HONOURABLE LIFE As a result of the conditions he had to endure growing up, some people would resort to unwholesome means to help themselves. Not my father. He abhorred anything evil with so much passion that all it took to lose his friendship was to attempt to get him to do anything bad. Even though I was a child then, I can recall many friends he dissociated from because they gave him bad advice. He used to say ‘THE ONLY THING THAT IS TRULY YOURS IS YOUR NAME.’ MY FATHER HONOURED WOMEN I am among the privileged children who can boldly say I never witnessed physical abuse in my home as a child. I remember being so aghast the first time a friend told me his father usually beats his mom. My father always said that it was a brute of a man that beats his wife. I was raised in an atmosphere where the men took on the physically exerting chores in the house like carrying heavy things, grass cutting etc. The beautiful part of this story is that his treatment of women was not limited to his family. He would not even allow maids to be maltreated. To him they were not maids but PEOPLE who help us to maintain and manage the house while we are away. Daddy, I thank God for helping you to be the kind of example that you were. By God’s grace I promise to take the baton farther to a place of greatness. I DEDICATE ALL MY PAST AND FUTURE SUCCESSES TO YOU AFTER GOD ALMIGHTY. You were a great dad who lived a powerful life. By God’s grace I know I would be at least as great a father as you were. YOU LIVE FOREVER IN MY HEART.